Bondage Through the Mail

Hello everyone! I hope you are well. I am sunburned, but got my fair share of people watching done at the amusement park...so I am a happy girl.

So, the title of my post. Intrigued, aren't you? Am I going to be talking about kinky toy catalogs? Possibly wrapping someone in layers of bubble wrap? Flogging with a book of postage stamps?

I will satisfy your curiosity right now. I am not a huge fan of delayed gratification...though sometimes it's fun.

Mark and Everly (see Opposites Attract and the follow-up) are back from their anniversary trip and have sent the prerequisite email bugging me to write their story. I sent the standard "No" reply and asked them about their trip. They said it was fantastic and they met some interesting people when they left their hut to socialize. Interesting eh? I should probably tell you that Mark and Ev went to a "lifestyle friendly" resort. As in "Hey, you give us money, you can do whatever you want as long as it's consensual" kinda place. You may have read about them in a kinky book. Well they aren't fiction and I got to hear what Everly looked liked bound and suspended over crystal blue water. I was slightly envious over the crystal blue water part. So, I know the first question in your head is...

How do they get their "tools of the trade" through airport security and customs? Okay, that probably wasn't your first, second or third question. But it was mine. Frankly, you can't get more than two ounces of shampoo through airport security, never mind feet of rope, six pairs of handcuffs, two pairs of bondage cuffs and other assorted kinky hardware. So I asked. And they answered.

They ship it ahead.

Now you are probably thinking "Duh" but apparently, Mark learned this lesson the hard way. When Mark was traveling extensively, honing his skills in Shibari, he often picked up different items along the way. Ropes, toys, cuffs etc. Now, this was prior to the current security measures, so most of the time he just threw it in his suitcase and went on his way. The metal detectors would pick up on some stuff, but no one really paid it any mind. Until, one day he was picked for a random baggage check. And boy was that cute little lady in for a surprise when she opened his luggage! Mark said he had no less than ten feet of a special kind of rope he had picked up in Japan, some ankle and wrist cuffs, lubricant, a flogger and some weird Japanese sex toy- thing he tried to explain to me but I still don't get. So, after rifling through his luggage, the girl blushed when she got to the lubricant and flogger. She proceeded to stare at him like he had six heads.

So at this point, I am laughing hysterically. And I am laughing because Mark can't lie. He is crappy at it. Everly catches him all the time. I tell him he lies like a man. He said if I keep saying that, he is going to tie me to a chair. So I am wondering how he is going to fib his way out of a visit to security and what I am sure will be a brief cavity search.

"I am a bounty hunter."

Then he proceeds to explain what he uses each of these "tools" for on his bounty hunting jobs. The rope for tying up suspects, the cuffs for restraining them and the flogger for roughing them up if he needs to. Apparently this was all she needed to hear. The bounty hunter thing made TSA girl totally swoon. She didn't even ask what the other "tools" were used for. She had him pack his luggage back up and sent him on through, nearly drooling because she met a real, live bounty hunter.

I must point out that I am practically choking with laughter and disbelief. That is the WORST lie ever. Everly confirms this did indeed happen, because he called her in a panic (yes Mark actually panicked) not because he was afraid of what they would think about him. He panicked because he didn't want them to confiscate his shit! (The rope was specialized and quite pricey, as is the Japanese sex toy doo-dad).

The moral of this story is, when in doubt, ship your kink. Or else TSA agents will be tying each other up with your very expensive rope. :)

Review: Game Misconduct- Bianca Sommerland

Hello everyone. I hope you are having a fine Saturday. I had a slutty encounter with some sangria last night so needless to say, my Friday night conversation with my friends wasn't about babies and housework ;)

So onto my review.

Game Misconduct is the first in the Dartmouth Cobras series by Bianca Sommerland. What attracted me to this book is the fact that it's a sports erotic romance. The Dartmouth Cobras are a professional hockey team and the heroine is Oriana Delgado, the team owner's daughter.

I had a few issues with this book. Oriana is dating Paul, the team's coach, but has feelings for Max Perron one of the players. Until she catches him in an "interesting" situation in an alley with a call girl and one of his teammates.

I need to stop here for moment. This book has a lot of sexual situations. Rape play, different degrees of BDSM, voyeurism and multiple partner sex to name a few. And while I have no issue reading about them, the way they were portrayed in this book can be summed up in one word. Confusing.

I don't know if it was me, but Oriana's trysts with all of the men on the team were hard to follow. I had to go over and re-read certain parts because I couldn't keep track of who was doing what to whom.

Also, the premise of the book was a little over the top for me. Silver, Oriana's sister, is left to do what she wants because she is the wild child so Oriana's father leaves her alone so she doesn't embarrass him further. Oriana is the good girl, stays will Paul because she is "supposed" to, until she realizes their relationship sucks. Then sweet little Oriana goes from good girl to team equipment in three paragraphs. The transition wasn't the smoothest in my opinion and added to the confusion of the story.

In the end, I enjoyed the different personalities of the guys. Sloan was the dominating sadist, Max the voyeur and Mason was the lead Dom. But in the end, Oriana didn't do it for me in the story.

There is a second book in this series, Defensive Zone and it's Silver's story. I am a little more interested in this one, because from the glimpse of Silver I got in Game Misconduct...I think I might like her character better.

As for Game Misconduct,  I sliding this one off the shelf to make room for Defensive Zone. If you think you can keep track of all the players in the book...feel free to go for it.

Enjoy the rest of your weekend. As always I would love recommendations and you can follow me on Twitter @jessieobrien25

Also, if you read Game Misconduct...I would love to know what you thought :)

Review: The Siren- Tiffany Reisz

I hope everyone enjoyed their Saturday. I didn't kill any idiot tourists, so I give myself a pat on the back. And I actually got some things accomplished today. Yay me.

Onward to my review.

The Siren is my first book by Tiffany Reisz. It won't be my last. I will admit though it had been recommended to me several times..I avoided it because it was usually in comparison with 50 Shades. Which, in case you didn't read, annoyed the hell out of me. But I follow Tiffany on Twitter, so I dug a little deeper. There is no comparison between 50 Shades and The Siren. They aren't even on the same planet.

The Siren is the story of Nora Sutherlin. Erotica writer, submissive and paid dominatrix (which technically makes her a switch). Nora only subs for one man. Soren. The rest of the time she gets paid to beat the hell out of the rich and famous.

The majority of the story follows Nora working with her editor Zachary Easton to publish her new novel. Zach has left England and unresolved marital issues for the East Coast. He is working with Nora before he heads to L.A. and is not happy about it. He doesn't think much of Nora's writing or her at first. So he gives her the almost impossible task of practically re-writing her book before he leaves.

Throughout the story you are introduced to key people in Nora's life. Wes, her 19 year old intern/roommate/constant temptation. Soren, Nora's dominant (I am not giving anything away, but holy crap) and Kingsley Edge, who sets up Nora's dominatrix gigs.

I can truly say, it has been a long time since I have been so emotionally invested in a book. I want to hug and shake Nora all at the same time. And I seriously cried for Wes.

I am continuing the habit of not revealing too much of the book. There is a heavy BDSM element in this book. Not play time people...the real thing. I personally have no issue with it, but if you do...I suggest you put this one back on the bookshelf. The only (and I mean only) thing that I wasn't so sure about was Nora's interaction with someone underage. But that's my thing.

This book will stay on my bookshelf..and I am REALLY looking forward to reading The Angel when it comes out in September. And I will continue to seek out more books by Tiffany Reisz.

Enjoy the rest of your weekend. I think a Sunday would be perfect day to sit down with The Siren.  ;)

As always...feel free to comment and follow me on Twitter @jessieobrien25

Opposites Attract: Follow-Up

Wow. I am really amazed at some of the emails I have received regarding my Opposites Attract post. So, despite my slight tipsyness (too much Woodchuck at happy hour) I decided to address the one question that seemed to be prevalent throughout the emails. I have included an excerpt of one such email below (with permission):

Jessie,

I think it's lovely the acceptance you have for your friends and what could be considered by most as an alternative lifestyle. It's not at all alternative to me. I am an old hat at BDSM (and I emphasize old because by my rudimentary calculations I have quite a few years on you). 

So indulge me by answering a question. I won't even make you call me sir. ;)

Do you plan on re-writing your friend's love story now that you know the "real" story?

I am very interested in your answer.

Warm regard,

R.

R, Thank you for your question. And much to the disappointment of some of you, no I do not plan on writing Mark & Everly's story again. They have asked...several times. But I don't feel like I would do their story justice. This time I am adamant about that. Everly will not be convincing me this time.

My reasons are simple. I am uninformed. I simply know what I have been told, what I have read, or what my friends share. And that just doesn't cut it for me. Yes, I could research. Even find some people to ask questions, but then I think the story becomes something else. It becomes a tourist version of something that means a great deal to people who I care for.

But, I am willing to compromise. With Mark and Everly's permission..I will update folks on how they are doing and share some stories/anecdotes they are comfortable with me sharing. I have encouraged them to blog, but as Mark so eloquently stated "I can't write for shit" so I doubt that will happen soon.

So thanks again for all of the interest in my friends. I broke the cardinal rule of vacation and emailed them to tell them..and they were so excited they made their friends find me on Twitter to get to the post.

They are famous now :)

Have a good evening everyone...more reviews to come soon!

Opposites Attract

If you are cool...say like me...the first thing that came to mind when you read the title of this post was that delightful Paula Abdul/MC Skat Kat song.

You know it did.

I am actually writing this post to talk about my friends. Don't worry folks, they know I am talking about them. They gave me permission. Well actually, Mark gave me permission because Mark does that whole permission thing. Wink wink.

That will make more sense as I get further into this post but allow me to start at the beginning. Somewhat the beginning. I "met" Everly when I started posting sexy stories on a sexy story website 10 years ago. (Don't ask, I am not telling). She sent me messages through the site"s personal messaging system and raved about my writing. All right, she didn't rave but she said she enjoyed it immensely. I enjoyed her back and forth so much that we signed up for one of those instant messenger programs and started having something that resembled conversation. This was when she asked me a favor. A huge favor. She wanted me to write a story about her and her husband to give him as a gift for their anniversary. A love story. Romance, sex, love..mushy goodness. I balked. And not for the reasons you may think...

I was nervous. From what I could tell their love story was epic, almost monumental. We had talked about her previous abusive relationship to some degree. Everly's fiance' was verbally abusive. I am not going into detail, but at the end of her relationship with him, she had lost twenty pounds, her self-esteem and cringed when someone shouted. It took her forever for her wounds to heal. Then she met Mark and the true love story began. And there was NO WAY I could do that story justice. I turned her down. She persisted. I turned her down again. She drafted an email to me with all the stuff she wanted to include and sent it to me anyway. After weeks of staring at it....I wrote. And wrote. And without thinking about it...I sent it. She loved it. He loved it. And it forever cemented our friendship. Which is why it took them awhile to tell me the actual truth about their relationship.

Mark is a dominant and Everly is his wife and sub. And they were afraid to tell me because they thought I would judge. Now people, this is 10 years ago. Prior to that trilogy that has tourists cruising the BDSM lifestyle. So their fear was justified. But not necessary. So I asked them if they would talk to me about the true aspects of their relationship and they agreed. They were and are very open with me. Everly admitted that her prior relationship didn't work out because she had always been submissive and her fiance was not into the BDSM lifestyle. (She is probably laughing because I refuse to type the word "vanilla" because it pisses me off). So their relationship turned ugly.

Mark has always been a dominant. He says he can't remember a time he didn't feel that way. And when he found Everly he knew he had found forever. He tells me that she was hesitant, because even though she is a submissive, some of her hard limits turn potential partners away. Not Mark. He knew she belonged to him the second he met her. And as soon as Everly figured out she could trust him...he belonged to her.

Everly is only submissive in their home. Outside of their home she runs a very successful wedding planning business (that's how they met, she planned Mark's brother's wedding) and Mark only desires her to submit in the bedroom. They discussed her hard limits while getting to know each other. She is allowing me to share some of her hard limits here (since I was nosy and asked).

-No humiliation. No name calling, no slurs, no yelling. Ever. He can use pet names, but nothing derogatory.(She explained while sometimes BDSM helps people get over certain issues they have, this would NEVER fly with her.)
-No humiliation as punishment.
-No public or club scenes
-No additional people. It is the two of them only
-No extreme pain
-Others are discussed as needed

These seemed pretty straightforward to me. I asked her what she enjoyed about being Mark's submissive. And she grinned. Mark is a Kinbaku master. Kinbaku (also known as Shibari) is a Japanese style of rope bondage. Kinbaku means "tight binding" and without getting into too much information...I think you get the deal. Plus, there are other things Everly enjoys and we have had multiple enlightening conversations. She swears I am a switch because of my reactions to her stories. And I laugh at her every time she says it.

This brings me to the point of my post. At the time of our meeting, Everly and Mark could not have been more different than I was. I was in my early twenties, in a long term but not necessarily lasting forever relationship and the only thing I did with rope was secure things to the top of my truck. But once they learned that I didn't judge them...they talked freely. They shared with me, I shared with them. And I gained two very awesome and very kinky friends.

They gained someone they could tell that they once used pineapple as a safeword and all the best treatments for rope burns (if for some reason I should ever have a really bad case of it).

To sum up. I think they are great. I don't care what they do in the bedroom. And they don't think I am boring for what I don't do in the bedroom.

Ain't acceptance grand?

BTW- Please forgive me if I messed up some details. I had this written in my head last night and lo and behold...my Internet goes out. And since my sources left for vacation (their anniversary is this week, hence the reminiscing post) I was unable to call and confirm.

I hope you enjoyed the story of my friends.

As always, thanks for reading.

Vanilla Rant

Vanilla. The term, well label really, has been become more mainstream lately with the popularity of the FSOG Trilogy. For those not in the know, here is what "vanilla" means in reference to sex. (Wikipedia link below)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vanilla_sex

This rant comes from a discussion/argument I had with an acquaintance today. The subject of people who have "vanilla sex" came up. And this asshole got tone...like he was better than me. Now, I know his preferences (not all of them mind you, but it doesn't take a genius to figure out some of them just by conversation alone) and frankly I don't care. People feel comfortable talking to me about certain things because I am relatively open-minded and non-judgemental. What goes down in your bedroom (kitchen, bathroom, dungeon) is your business not mine. I don't refer to your proclivities as deviant, dirty or sick. Those are labels (and insults) and as I have friends the BDSM lifestyle, they are also hurtful and mean. Plus they perpetuate a stereotype. I fucking hate stereotypes.

So why do you label others? Why is okay for you to call what others do vanilla...which basically means conservative, boring and dull. Which I find insulting. So, you like to get whipped. You wear a collar. You like to dish out pain. Why do get to cast judgement on those who don't?

I guess my point is, at some period in our lives most of us felt insecure about something sexually. Whether it's those dominant tendencies it took you forever to figure out were "normal" to have. Or realizing that the desire to be controlled is what you really need to feel free. Or after reading, watching or talking to people who are into BDSM you realize you aren't...that's perfectly fine too.

Please note, I know not everyone feels this way. Which is why this is a rant...and not end-all, be-all of truths. (I must say though, that would be AWESOME if what I said was indeed just that.)

So in the end...I won't label you...if you don't label me.

So please, take your "vanilla" and go fuck yourself. (I figure that's about as conventional as it gets.)

50 Shades- Slightly Annoying

Woo hoo! First post on my blog! So excited! Okay...down to business.

I, like everyone else in the universe, has read the 50 Shades Trilogy. And I, unlike most of the universe, found quite a few things I didn't enjoy about the book. For those who would like to know what, please peruse the list below. For those who think I have lost my mind because I actually found something to list...thank you for coming.

1- The heroine Ana Steele. I can't remember reading a female lead that irritated me more. Her internal monologue drove me completely nuts. I understand second-guessing yourself in a relationship but her self-esteem issues would make Freud dizzy.

2- Her willingness to enter into a BDSM relationship with very little sexual knowledge...well that really made no sense to me. AT ALL. I would have run scared into the night, no matter how hot Christian Grey was. I have no issue with taking liberties with reality in some situations, but I was lost on that one.

3- The idea that a messed up sexual past equated to Christian's need to dominate women. I have spoken to people in that lifestyle (not expert research mind you, more like curiosity). Most of them had no other reason for their sexual choice besides that fact that it brought them pleasure. No weird skeletons in the closet, no huge emotional events. They just like to dominate during sex.

I can now talk about what I did like. I enjoyed the complexity of Christian's character. Issues aside, his journey was enjoyable to read. I do like that it encouraged people to read. Women who wouldn't normally consider picking up a book when they had time...did. And it encouraged them to seek out more authors, different genres and enjoy the escape.

I can support anything that gets people to read more...after all the group discussion in book rehab will get kinda boring if I am all by myself!