Vanilla Rant

Vanilla. The term, well label really, has been become more mainstream lately with the popularity of the FSOG Trilogy. For those not in the know, here is what "vanilla" means in reference to sex. (Wikipedia link below)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vanilla_sex

This rant comes from a discussion/argument I had with an acquaintance today. The subject of people who have "vanilla sex" came up. And this asshole got tone...like he was better than me. Now, I know his preferences (not all of them mind you, but it doesn't take a genius to figure out some of them just by conversation alone) and frankly I don't care. People feel comfortable talking to me about certain things because I am relatively open-minded and non-judgemental. What goes down in your bedroom (kitchen, bathroom, dungeon) is your business not mine. I don't refer to your proclivities as deviant, dirty or sick. Those are labels (and insults) and as I have friends the BDSM lifestyle, they are also hurtful and mean. Plus they perpetuate a stereotype. I fucking hate stereotypes.

So why do you label others? Why is okay for you to call what others do vanilla...which basically means conservative, boring and dull. Which I find insulting. So, you like to get whipped. You wear a collar. You like to dish out pain. Why do get to cast judgement on those who don't?

I guess my point is, at some period in our lives most of us felt insecure about something sexually. Whether it's those dominant tendencies it took you forever to figure out were "normal" to have. Or realizing that the desire to be controlled is what you really need to feel free. Or after reading, watching or talking to people who are into BDSM you realize you aren't...that's perfectly fine too.

Please note, I know not everyone feels this way. Which is why this is a rant...and not end-all, be-all of truths. (I must say though, that would be AWESOME if what I said was indeed just that.)

So in the end...I won't label you...if you don't label me.

So please, take your "vanilla" and go fuck yourself. (I figure that's about as conventional as it gets.)